I grew up in a home where there was always love around the house and I never had to worry about much. I knew that I was going to be taken care of and that my life was just to grow up and figure out what I wanted to do. So mentally and emotionally, I grew up in a warm and loving home. But that doesn’t mean everybody does.
“Mental awareness starts in the home,” mental health counselor Kalina Vang says as she and I sit together. “If you bring it up in your home that it is important to talk about, you open up a portal that it’s safe to be aware of how your mind and body is.”
So what exactly is mental health? “People tend to mix up the terms mental health and mental illness. Those two terms actually have two completely different definitions. Your mental health is how you handle stress, to your well-being. For example, you have 4 kids and work full time. You come home to a house full of dirty laundry and have to make dinner. Your mental health is stressed but you can handle it because mentally your mind is stable. Now mental illness, that’s another story. You have the 4 kids, you work full time and you come home to dirty laundry and have to make dinner, and on top of it, your illness isn’t able to handle the stress while coping with everything around you. They are not the same thing.”
The Hmong community is really big on image and most times, bringing mental awareness to the family is hard because it may damage their reputation so they’d rather shove it under the rug. “I have found that our community shy away from help because they’re afraid others will know that they need help or am seeking help. But pretending to live in a place where your mind is not safe, is actually dangerous to yourself more than to others.”
Being strong is the new sexy because you allow yourself to be seen without a shield. You are not afraid that you need time to take care of yourself. Not everyone is going to be ok 24 hours and asking for help is proof that you are simply human. With everything we tackle on a daily basis, our minds need a little help to be reset and back in order. Being strong helps you face the storm you may have coming your way. Being strong helps you live a healthier life by knowing that you don’t need to be afraid. Being strong is better than being silent.
Kalina has such a bubbly laugh as she talks about how why she choose this as a career. “Our Hmong community doesn’t talk about it but the many generation of mental health issues that comes from being immigrants to our elders not knowing what the meaning of mental illness is made me want to go into the field. Our Hmong are traumatized from a lot and they are afraid to speak of it because they’re afraid of the stigmatized they’ll receive from others if they open up.” Kalina has been working as a mental health counselor for 4 months and going from behind the books to real life has taught her so much.
“I work with the population of SPMI and it’s really opened up my eyes. It’s taught me that 10 people may be bipolar and be identified with the same illness, but those 10 people each wear it differently. It’s never the same with two people. You have to be open and know that each illness may be labeled the same in terminology but when it comes to people, it’s not going to be the same. The sufferance is different and so the approach to heal is going to be different.”
Our community never had resources to reach out to for help if one needed to talk to someone. Our elders never knew what could be mentally wrong with them. It was always a guess of something spiritual if one wasn’t faithful to one’s mind. But with today’s help, bringing mental awareness is something that should be started inside your home.
I asked her what kind of advice she would have for those who may be seeking to do what she does. “If you want to make a difference by spreading mental awareness, know that it comes from being true to yourself. Pave your own path, fight for people of color and remember that no job is perfect.”
Kalina Vang can be reached at Kalinavangk@gmail.com
Houa Lor
Story Collector